miserable

i feel so abnormal..when i study i feel that its so hard to memorize by heart compare to last time i can memorize easily unlike now..what is going on with me? it seems like there are a lot of thing bothering me..i feel so insecure but i can't do anything..no one there to talk to make me feel even worst..relationship friendship family ? didn't want any help just need someone to be there for me..but the worst thing is none/no one i can think of..except two person but i must stop relying on ppl de.. how how how how ?